A healthy mind helps your fertility. Research studies are consistent on the mind/body connection to conceiving. Mindset matters when you’re trying to conceive naturally or prepping for an IVF cycle. Recently I drove right past my friend’s house! Why? A professional garden designer/ horticulturalist had transformed the space. A bit like the way the way I help my clients optimise fertility physically and mentally. Even when the odds seem stacked against them.
A healthy mind in a healthy body
Whether you ditch dairy for kale, swap out running for yoga, and pee on ovulation sticks, trying to conceive isn’t an exact science. Clients tell me it’s the waiting, the uncertainty, the ticking clock, a failed cycle, another baby announcement or facing into another round of IVF that overwhelms. Research confirms that the mind and body are connected, and play a vital role in health and fertility. Imagine if you could harness your mental powers for a change, lose the anxiety, halt feelings of doubt and failure …and boost your natural fertility ? Now you can.
A mind/body approach to conceiving
Coaching is a lot like the design part of a new garden. I find out what exactly is wanted, then we identify and agree goals and targets, to help clients re-calibrate and get to where they want to be. Coaching is future orientated, helping healthy people make useful changes quickly, regain control, nurture relationships and restore hope. Speed is of the essence in fertility matters, so my clients only have about 6-10 visits.
“In our one session my infertility fears disappeared. I felt calmed and optimistic again. Your magic wand blurred away all my negative thoughts. I focused on what I could do, not on being a failure. The difference in my mindset, and my reactions to other people’s baby announcements was amazing. Then as you know it just happened for us.”
Next is the ‘hard landscaping’ to bring the design to life. I tailor sessions for each person, and combine hypnotherapy, EMDR stress busting CBT and relaxation techniques to boost natural fertility, and regain traction. Any mental blocks are dissolved. This also gives IVF the best chance of success.
My work is based on medical research. Stress reduction, focused on both the body and the mind, has been found to double conception rates for IVF patients.
Start right
Planning a garden is an audit – checking what’s there already, deciding you want to grow and what will work. This is where the horticulturalist weighs in, much the same way I share my 30 years of experience to help my clients to parenthood.
Infertility is an ongoing loss and grief, compounded by living life in 2-week segments. The pressure of the ‘fertile window’ is followed by disappointment as a period arrives. Over time optimism and confidence take a hit. Studies reveal that anxiety and depression levels in women with fertility issues parallel those of people diagnosed with cancer or HIV Aids.
For those who have had a child or two, it comes as a shock to have difficulty in conceiving again. Secondary infertility affects about 60% of couples visiting fertility clinics. Often hidden and misunderstood, it’s rarely discussed and is deeply heartbreaking. Always around other moms and kids, the questions keep coming… “When are you having another? Time for a little brother or sister or s/he’ll be an only child.”
Have a plan: When you realise that a fertility coaching consult as an opportunity to get ready for a healthy pregnancy, and parenthood, it eases the pressure. You’re back in the driving seat. We’ll look at what’s changed since you conceived last time, optimise lifestyle choices, tackle anxiety and plan for tests to get you started.
Your GP is definitely the first port of call. One specialising in Women’s Health can check bloods for anaemia, fertility hormone levels and thyroid function; perform scans to check the womb and ovaries. Endometriosis may have flared since pregnancy, and polycystic ovarian syndrome also reduces the chances of pregnancy. A semen analysis gives a baseline snapshot for men’s fertility. Weight changes need to be gauged as under-and overweight impact fertility in women and men. Not only smear tests but also your immunity to Rubella/German measles needs to be updated. The latter protect the unborn against congenital abnormalities. Routine smear and STI testing . Taking folic acid/folate and a high quality supplement goes for you and your partner. Referral to a specialist gynaecologist or reproductive endocrinologist for further investigation.
History: knowledge is power in seeing whats inhibiting conception. What kind of delivery did you have last time? C-section risks uterine scarring, adhesions and tube-blocking infections. Pregnancy loss, or traumatic birth involving forceps, ventouse, episiotomy or haemorrhage may overshadow conceiving again. Fertility issues are 50:50 shared by partners. Men are often Cinderella-ed in investigating and treating fertility issues.
Eating well provides the building blocks for hormones and pregnancy demands. Takeout, ready meals and restaurant food may be high in calories and flavour, but lacking in nutrients.
Sleep and sex take a backseat when you’re juggling work and parenting. Humans only have a 21% of conceiving each month which is a lot less than sex ed class may have taught you. Boosting libido, treating any erectile dysfunction (ED) and improving sleep quality are cornerstones of rebooting fertility.
Mindset matters Hypnotherapist/psychotherapists like me are qualified to help people with anxiety and overwhelm during infertility, after failed IVF, in healing properly after miscarriage, pregnancy loss, ffa, stillbirth and traumatic births. Coaches are not. Studies show how infertility, and fertility treatment, ramp up the stress and anxiety in a vicious cycle. It’s good to have a professional who’s got your back, supports you and you can talk freely talk with. Someone outside the family, not a friend, someone who understands what you’re going through and helps you navigate it.
Hypnotherapy works with the subconscious mind to quickly dissolve any limiting beliefs and negativity.
If there has been pregnancy loss or birth trauma we’ll use EMDR (eye movement therapy) and put coping skills and mindfulness techniques in place.
Creative Visualisation is a mindfulness exercise to set your intention and rehearse what you want to prime yourself to manifest it.
For the body part of the fertility equation I start with sleep, sex and libido, diet and my fertility-enhancing lifestyle hacks to balance the physical health and well-being in the form of research-backed fertility reflexology.
I’ll usually see my clients face to face to resolve any mental blocks to getting pregnant, reduce anxiety and treat any depression.
Remember, it doesn’t mean you’re mad, sad or bad or weirdly different if you feel overwhelm. Infertility and secondary infertility are major life events. Playing the waiting game while trying to conceive shreds the nerves. Everything is on hold, you’re afraid to take a holiday, commit to a wedding, or take a class in case you’re starting a cycle of IVF or find yourself pregnant.
Minding yourself is key to achieving pregnancy, and minding your emotional well being helps fertility, and also reduces the risk of postnatal depression.
